Which wolf will you feed in 2013?

Yep, It’s that time of year again. New years resolutions are in full swing. “I want to lose 10 kilos” – “I will quit smoking” or “I will drink less this year”, these are all commonplace in January.

Some stick, most don’t.

It begs the question. Are new years resolutions a waste of time? No of course they’re not. The New Year is as great a time as any to refocus.

Well, then why do most people that set them seem to fail?

For what it’s worth, here’s my 2 cents….

First of all many haven’t found the deep seeded reason WHY they want to change and second of all maybe it’s not what they really WANTED in the first place?

Unless you have found the ‘core’ reason you want to change then it just isn’t going to happen. In many ways discipline is overrated. Desire (or love) will beat discipline any day of the week. If you can’t quit smoking, your desire (or love) to smoke is greater than your desire to stop. If you can’t back off on the booze, then your desire (or love) to drink is greater than your desire not to.

The real question is WHY? Are we living someone else’s dream? Are there deeper seeded emotional reasons that need to be resolved before we can move forward?

The truth is it’s not such things as food, alcohol or cigarettes that are the issue. It is how they makes us feel. We are not chasing the substance, we are chasing the feeling.

When we buy something at a Boxing Day sale it’s not usually because it was cheap but because we FELT good about scoring a bargain. Did you really want 50% off that washing machine you didn’t need? When we hit our team targets and achieve a financial bonus often times it’s not about the money but the FEELING of value you brought to the table. And when we eat that extra piece of chocolate cake or top up that glass of red wine in many instances it is not about the taste, but the FEELING it gives us – whether that be drowning our sorrows or a calming type of instant gratification.

Many people drown out their WHY with these self-destructive behaviors. If you truly want to find your WHY then you may have to be willing to put yourself through a process of self exploration and it won’t always be easy. It may mean time left alone in your own thoughts.

As the author Paulo Coelho states – ”Solitude is not the absence of company, but an opportunity for our soul to speak to us and tell us what to do with our lives’

Sorry if I got a little ‘spiritual’ on you there but the fact remains, too many of us do not stop and think about WHAT WE TRULY WANT and WHY? We plough through day to day then spend our down time distracting ourselves from our thoughts with food, substances, and even television. Losing yourself in your favorite TV series ‘to forget about life for a while’ can lead to a false sense of happiness through other peoples lives.

Ponder the message below and maybe ask yourself what you truly want this year? Are you really living by your values? What will truly make you happy?

 

In today’s age we also place too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. The perfect businessperson or employee, the perfect partner, the perfect father or mother and have the perfect body. Is this such a bad thing? Well according to the famous quote from the famous football coach Vince Lombardi it’s not – ”Perfection is unattainable but if you chase it you can catch excellence”.

Sorry Vince, nice sentiment but I tend to disagree.

Too many of us in this search for perfection put undue pressure on ourselves to succeed and allow little room for failure. When we stumble at the first hurdle we don’t get back up. The self-sabotage that follows is a vicious cycle that if not dealt with can manifest in to weeks and months of self-loathing. We must accept failure as a valuable part of the learning experience and move on.

Personally, I think being fully aware and conscious of not only yourself and the world around you is what we should all be striving for. Self-honesty and acceptance of your situation is always required to move forward.

We have identified the above an as major road blocks with many of our clients. Our team are undertaking ongoing training behind the scenes the help you identify what is holding you back from achieving your health goals and developing techniques to help you overcome them. You are with us for 2-3 hours a week after all. We realize where you really need our help.

Truth be told, even as a fitness professional (all be it part time these days!) I too have at various times struggled to be consistent with my training and eating. Focusing on building a business and other family related pressures has at times takes a mental toll on me that the last place I want to be is in the gym. At times high levels of stress have seen me more inclined to reach for a block of chocolate (dark I might add!) than a dumbbell. I am human after all and I am flawed.

Now I have 2 options in these circumstances 1) Beat myself up for not living to my ‘fitness professional’ values 100% of the time or 2) Face it, accept it, move on and train/eat clean the following day. Like anyone else sometimes my own doubts rear their ugly head and keep me in that realm of ‘self pity’ for a while. But I am lucky that I have over time developed the ability to not let this become a self-perpetuating cycle. Through putting myself through a process I’ve gained enough perspective to step outside my own ‘1st World’ problems and refocus on what is important.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

I want to share with you below an image that has made an impact with me. We all have our demons and insecurities. Our hopes and our fears.

Which wolf will you feed in 2013?

 

The question we have to ask ourselves is which areas of our life does the ‘evil wolf’ no longer serve us? For example, if you were overweight as a child or have been scarred in past relationship. What coping mechanisms did you develop that are still holding you back? Maybe your goals should not be about proving someone wrong but for you and you only? Maybe the guilt you feel from a past misdemeanor needs to be let go before you can break the cycle of self-sabotage? Maybe now is the time that you admit to yourself that you truly need help and guidance in a major area of your life — your health. For if you don’t have your health, then what do you really have? Are you actually LIVING now or just existing?

Usually that thing you have avoided the longest is the thing that you really need to do.

Our client journey model (below) is designed to give you the best possible opportunity for success. By having regular assessments not only will you create a structure of accountability that will keep you honest but also it will ensure you stay on the well-worn path. As world-renowned holistic health practitioner likes to say – If you’re not assessing, you’re guessing.

By allowing yourself to be open to our complimentary 21 day coaching sessions you will have an avenue to objectively identify the things that are holding you back and create strategies to move forward. At the very least a problem shared is a problem halved right?

Structure, accountability and support are what you need to make sure your ‘new years resolutions’ are not just a flash in the pan.

 

So I challenge you all in 2013 to make a pact with yourself. A pact that this year you will live by your values, not by what is expected of you from others or what society deems as acceptable. When you mess up (…and you will), you will face up to it, accept it and move forward. You will treat this as an ongoing journey, not focus on the destination and embrace all it’s ups and downs as part of the ride. And above all else you will learn to love and accept yourself for the flawed little creature you are and listen to your heart and intuition, it will tell you all you need to know about the person you truly want to become.

That said, bring on a chaotic 2013 with all it’s trials and tribulations. Myself and the rest of the team look forward to guiding you through the journey…

Dylan Willis.